Raising a new generation
Parents face the unknowns of social media
From mood swings to testing independence, the early adolescent years can be among the most difficult stages of parenting.
Social media is the latest complication.
"We are the generation of parents that grew up without it," said Julie Vitek, a mother of 16-year-old twins. "And all of a sudden, we have children that we have to parent to it. It's brand new for us, and it's brand new to them, making it really, really hard to navigate around."
Many parents are struggling to keep up with how the platforms are affecting their children’s lives.
According to a Pew Research Center survey, 44% of parents in the United States said that social media is the main threat to their children’s mental health.
Vitek said she worries that social media takes away from imaginative play, the kind of unstructured free time that lets children create their own entertainment.
Instead of just picking up a screen to watch or listen to something, she said children need opportunities to develop creativity without constant digital input.
Parents also worry about safety online.
Charlene Fung has a 16-year-old son and a 14-year-old daughter. She said it’s difficult to track her children’s social media usage.
“It’s very hard to monitor kids on their phones unless you’re super controlling,” she said. “Kids will do what they want to do.”
Fung said she and her husband discovered her daughter had a secret TikTok account when she was 12.
“She was posting about getting ready for school, her route to school and where she goes to school, basically all this unsafe stuff,” she said. “So, we shut that down.”
Even parents who stay on top of social media moderation say it’s impossible to fully shield their children from it.
Whitni Waldrop said she cannot imagine growing up with social media like her 18-year-old son, 14-year-old daughter and 12-year-old daughter.
“They are all having to grow up with it now and you can’t really shelter them from it,” she said. “If they’re not on their phones, they’re on someone else’s. If you take their phone away, there’s an iPad or a Chromebook. I feel like it’s just a little bit inevitable that this is the kind of world we’re living in.”
Charlene Radic, a mother of a 14-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old daughter said she fears the unknown.
“We’re kind of the guinea pig here as parents having to learn how to suss it out, make sure it’s safe, follow and keep tabs on it,” Radic said. “It’s the gray area of not knowing what could potentially happen. Even if you have all the safeguards in place, you never know… something or somebody bad can get through.”
She also said she and her husband have talked to their 14-year-old daughter about reality versus social media.
“Social media is not true, everyday life,” she said. “I’ve told her the reason why I'm worried about her having it is because I don’t want her to compare herself to others. I don’t want her to feel like she’s not fashionable enough, not beautiful enough, not skinny enough… the internet should never give you your confidence.”
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